Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been a little quiet for a week or so. I and my family have been experiencing the recent flu outbreak here in CCTV land. I don’t know if it was the infamous swine flu or not but I can attest to the fact that it certainly was a pig.
One of the side effects was that I could read the many wonderful and powerful blogs listed down the right hand side of this page but I couldn’t summon up enough energy to make a genuine and informed contribution. The odd post here and there and that was it.
I’m getting back on form again and just as well with all that’s been going on. Earthquakes, suspicious bird and fish deaths with a healthy dose of the daily theft and rape of everyday life dressed up as western civilisation. See what happens why you take a few days off?
I don’t have much in the way of original ranting or inner wisdom – that’s not my strong point anyway (grin). What roused me a little was this tale. It is most surely fictional but it really made my day. I take no responsibility for the spelling mistakes – it’s a straight copy and paste job...
When Grandma Goes To Court
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'